Finding The Right Fit: Choosing a Therapist

Most people do not begin therapy because they suddenly feel motivated or inspired. They start because something is no longer working, despite trying harder, thinking differently, or telling themselves it should pass.

You may notice your thoughts looping, your body staying tense, or a quiet sense that you are moving through life on autopilot rather than feeling present. Anxiety may feel louder than it once did, your mood heavier, or your inner critic more persistent. When these experiences begin to show up often enough that they interfere with daily life, it may be a sign that additional support could be helpful.

People seek therapy for many reasons. Sometimes it follows a recent or long past traumatic experience. Other times, there is no single clear event, just a sense of feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected. Once you decide to start looking for a therapist, the process itself can feel daunting. With so many options available, it is common to feel unsure of where to begin.

Step 1 Schedule a Consultation

One important first step in choosing a therapist is scheduling a consultation. A consultation is not a commitment. It is a conversation. This time allows you and the therapist to get a sense of whether you may be a good fit and gives you the opportunity to ask questions and share what you are looking for.

It is easy to get lost in credentials, approaches, and specialties when searching for a therapist. While those details matter, one of the most important factors is often simpler than it seems. How do you feel about the interaction itself?

Step 2 Focus on a Strong Therapeutic Alliance

Research consistently shows that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes, regardless of therapeutic approach. According to research conducted by Rita Ardito and Danielle Rabellino, “The quality of the client therapist alliance is a reliable predictor of positive clinical outcome independent of psychotherapy approaches and outcome measures.”

So what does a strong therapeutic alliance look like?

Signs of a strong alliance include:

Authenticity

Do you feel able to share thoughts or feelings you do not typically share with others? Can you be honest about your emotions, even when it feels uncomfortable?

Attentiveness

Do you feel listened to and understood? Does your therapist seem genuinely invested in your well being?

Hopefulness

Even when sessions feel challenging, do you leave with a sense that your therapist holds hope for your growth and future?

Discovery

Are you gaining insight about yourself? Is your therapist helping you make connections or see situations from a new perspective?

Step 3 Build Rapport Through Communication

For many clients, the beginning of therapy comes with some discomfort. This is normal. Therapy is a relationship, and like any relationship, communication is essential. Being open with your therapist about your preferences and offering feedback about how sessions are going can help shape the work in a way that feels supportive and meaningful to you.

If you have communicated your needs and still feel the therapist may not be the right fit, it is okay to move on and continue your search. Finding the right therapist can take time. If something does not feel right, it does not mean therapy is not for you. It means you are paying attention, and that awareness itself is a meaningful first step.

If You Are Considering Therapy

Many people come to therapy feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or disconnected from their bodies and unsure how to think their way out of it. In my work, we focus not only on insight, but on helping your nervous system feel safer and more regulated. Using a body based somatic approach, therapy becomes a space to slow down, tune in, and gently shift patterns that may be keeping you stuck.

I offer consultations as an opportunity to connect, ask questions, and get a sense of what working together might feel like. This is not about having the right words or a clear plan. It is simply a chance to notice how your body responds and whether the space feels supportive.

If you are feeling curious, overwhelmed, or ready for more support, you are welcome to reach out to schedule a consultation.

Resources: 

Research on the client and therapist relationship: The Role of Evidence-Based Therapy Relationships on Treatment Outcome for Adults with Trauma: A Systematic Review

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